Senior Year-- An Update

For those of you who know me and would like some light on what I've been doing lately, thank you, and if you're new and happened to stumble upon this post, thank you to you, too! So above all, thank YOU for reading this!

If you do not know already, I'm currently in my Senior year and on winter break! And I have been thinking about some of the struggles I faced during the semester, which have been crazy! Finals were insane and I only had to do two all-nighters this semester, which may or may not have lowered my validation as a college student, but you be the judge of that. With all the papers, midterms, and other extra curricular activities in which I tried to keep up with, I remember the week of finals and having to write a five page paper, a presentation, and three reading assignments/ worksheets, that were all due within three days. That may not sound like a lot-- even as an English major-- but I started to feel its weight. The texts that we were required to read are heavy in content and take a lot of time to do. I don't mean to come off as whiny, but the stress was REAL. For a visual illustration, this is how my semester felt on most days:

  

Instead of specifically "Sundays," the above illustration has been me throughout the majority of the semester-- unfortunately. Now, college was not going to be easy and as I continue to think about some of the things that I could have done differently this past semester, I know it will be different for the upcoming Spring semester. I hope all-nighters are the thing of the past and I will at the same time, get to watch The Flash, while I'm still at school. (Lowkey, I'm on Season 2, episode 2 on Netflix, for The Flash, and it's getting crazy good, but I do have SO MANY QUESTIONS, which I am very confused about. I like to think that I have-- SPOILER ALERT-- time travel and the idea of it down, which is why all of these questions are coming to mind. But my little sister, who was the one that got me hooked onto the show, says that I should keep watching and that all of my questions will be answered. *Cries from the frustration* BUT I am loving the show! #HighlyRecommend)

Anyway, I look forward to this new semester and new year! (AND watching more of The Flash.)

Using This Chance to Write

I think one of the main reasons that I haven't posted a while on this blog is because of that reason; I haven't posted on my own blog for a long time. No matter how much I wanted to post on this blog, I felt like it was something that I had to do, but that's what I really want to stay away from. I've expressed before that writing is something that I love doing, so much so that I majored in it. I figured that part of the reason that kept me from posting anything was that I didn't want to face the idea that I hadn't posted in a while, which resulted in more or less some sense of procrastination. But I couldn't stop thinking about writing. So, here I am on my Winter Break, just writing and thank you, reader, for reading this as I allow myself to splurge on something that I have no idea what will become of it. How exciting!

In the time that I've been going to college and writing countless papers, one of the best ways to start a paper is to start writing. I think that's a technique in which I'm doing now. I realize that the last time I've posted anything was a month and a half ago and I want to change that. I want to try posting more often, more than I did within this past year. There might be posts like this where I have no idea what I'll be writing about, but it would most likely be of things that have sparked my interest or what I may be doing at the moment. And at this moment, I'm on Winter Break, which means that I have a lot of time on my hands, which is almost overwhelming. Within only a week ago, I've been so busy with finals, projects, and papers that the amount of free time I have on my hands, now, makes my mind race on all the things I can and want to do. 

Have you ever had to do so many things that time seems to be fighting against you and don't know where to start, so you take a nap, instead? (I may or may not have done that (LOL!)) Well, that's my current dilemma, but instead of naps, I've been trying to regulate my sleep schedule to "normal." Being at school, I wouldn't get to sleep until 1:00AM--if I'm lucky! Nonetheless, with the amount of free time I want to go binge watch on t.v. shows on Netflix, spend hours getting lost in a city, immerse myself in culture (I have a lot of catching up to do), go to the movies, hangout with my hometown friends, and go for a run on my favorite route (the list doesn't stop there!). I currently think that I have been able to perform these tasks with my family!

One in particular has been a t.v. show on the CW called, The Flash, which I have started on Netflix and IT'S SO GOOD!! As of many of the things that I begin to fangirl about, my little sister, Cristina introduced me to the show and I've been trying to catch up with her and--OMG!!--where have I been all this time! The show is incredible, the cast is remarkable, and the writing is legit! Of course, if I've persuaded you enough to watch it yourself, forget everything I said about it just so that you don't go in with high expectations! 

I've also have gone to so many places in the Bay Area that if I had to go back to school tomorrow, I'd feel content on m fair share of city life... Okay, maybe I haven't met my full quota, but it has been a lot so far. Besides getting to spend a lot of time with my family, I'm using part of my free time reflecting on the past semester and year. All that comes to mind is: it has been tough. Despite the difficulty that has come with this year, which has been mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually challenging, I didn't go through it alone. I have an amazing support group that has cried with me, laughed with me, and struggled with me, yet has remained to be a community of encouragement. So, I look forward to the new year and semester as an opportunity to do things differently and create more often, even if it means writing a blogpost with no idea of how it's going to end. 

Thank you for reading!

-Jacky

I Miss Writing and Reading

As some of you may know, I am currently in my fourth year of university and socially, it's been amazing! My main friend group is legit and encouraging, not only have we been able to continue to experience this journey together, but we've  also been able to make new friends, who are just so funny and interesting. It's so cool to experience the many personalities that God has created, which has been such a blessing!

Spiritually, within these past couple of weeks, I feel that God continues to wreck me, teaching me something new and profound. Many of my weekends/weeks consist of worship, listening/attending sermons, and dwelling in an atmosphere of community and fellowship, which is SO GOOD!!! I am absolutely loving it! 

Academically, not so much. I'm not saying that I haven't prayed about my work or the things I'm learning in the classroom; I'm saying I'm just not enjoying the work.

Granted, I love to learn and the material is interesting and challenging, but I can't find myself to completely dedicate my mind to it fully. I find myself distracted or unmotivated-- unwilling to take the time to sit and read or write about the ideas/concepts discussed in the written work. 

Now from the title of this blog post, you may have gotten the idea of what this is about and I am not blaming the amount of homework, material, and/or professors-- I'm actually very thankful of it all because it is what is expected of me as an English Major. The work and material that I am given is what equips me to gain the knowledge and understanding of the degree I will be receiving this upcoming Spring. But this year, out of all years, something feels different.

I keep pushing my school work to the last minute trying to finish assignment late into the night. I spend hours trying to read a literary work, which is just about 5-10 pages long (and that's small for English majors) and my writing-- OMG-- don't get me started about the paper writing. I feel like such a FAILURE in writing papers this semester!! But in the midst of all of the work and deadlines, I sometimes forget why I decided to do it in the first place.

So, I think back to where it all began. I think about the moments when I could write and read when I wanted to because I WANTED to-- which was A LOT! The reason WHY I wanted to be an English major. But now, I guess, because I HAVE to read and write there's an expectation of requirements. Sure, this may sound like I'm whining and you may be thinking that if I don't want to read or write, why am I currently writing this blog post... My answer to you is: "because I want to." I hope that doesn't come off as offensive, but I miss having my own requirements. 

The opportunity to do something so minuscule, such as writing and reading that brings me so much joy to which I've realized, I haven't been able to do. Writing and reading has currently been associated with the feeling of anxiety and fear because I always think that it's going to be paired with a due date or a certain way in which it's supposed to be written, such as worrying about other aspects of how I'm supposed to write a paper: syntax, structure, argument, and content. Having to read and write constantly for my whole academic career has numbed me. I have forgotten that writing, for me, is a place where I can find freedom in doing whatever I want-- maybe not to the extent of which usage of "there/their/they're" I'm supposed to use (and there is supposed to be a specific one depending on its usage), but the kind of freedom that reminds me of why I started to read and write in the first place.

Freedom in writing is creating a story and not knowing where in the world its going to go. Writing is part of the creative process that has so much color, chaos, and enriching amounts of imagination. It is the kind of joy that the Lord allows us to run freely in without judgement and fear. It's a kind of freedom that I dearly miss. Although I may not achieve anything from writing this, I found myself sitting at my desk with a strong desire to... write. 

So, for the sake of my sanity, I hope you enjoyed reading just a glimpse of what I'm going through at the moment and, please, pray for me!

My Junior Year at Simpson University

This post is past overdue as my Senior year of university will be commencing in less than 3 weeks!! So here is a perspective on what I wrote a couple of days after finishing my Junior year of college!

Can you believe it?! I'm finished with my third year at Simpson University! As I reflect and think about this past year, I am so thankful for all that I experienced. God has truly been moving in my life that His love, grace, mercy, and strength were ever present. As I continued with courses, my position as a Resident Assistant, and growing spiritually with God; the people He has blessed me with continue to overwhelm me. Throughout this year, there was a single word that I felt God has worked in my life and that word was friendship and what that meant in my life.

One thing that I integrate in my interaction with people is: "Treat other as you want to be treated." Ever since I could remember, I constantly put myself in other peoples shoes; I would try to imagine and feel every interaction I had with people. If I said one thing or did something, I would ask myself how would they feel? What if I said this? What if I did that? Friendship to me was treating other as you want to be treated that extension of oneself is connected to another. Sure, we could mess up sometimes-- we're not perfect--, but it's what we do after that talk, interaction, or mistake that was made is what that friendship adds up to. 

This past school year, that is what I experienced: a revaluation of who were my friends and who were not. Coming from the Bay Area, I take my friends seriously, seriously as in who I tell things to or who I want to spend my time with. If someone were to do something to any of my close friends, I would feel as if they were doing that same wrong to me. For a visual representation, imagine the scene from Miss Congeniality, and Sandra Bullock's character, Hart, who had to answer a Miss United States question to which she had a brief shining moment. I've attached the video of that moment for you.

Bullock's character is me. You mess with my friends, you mess with me to which my "bay area" comes out and I don;t meant to specifically originate this feeling to the Bay Area, but I believe it should be universal. With this definition of friendship, I have been able to think about what it really means to be a friend. With friendship, I have grown with people who have enriched my life and who I have learned from greatly.

This lesson in my life is a great blessing in disguise because God has given me the great opportunity to become close to others who have been effected or experienced this type of obstacle in their life.

Not only has my Junior year been enriched by friendship, but I have also been loving my role as a Resident Assistant. Being an R.A. continues to be a blessing as I continued to grow as a student leader and with the relationships I have with my floor and ultimately with other women that live in my building. By the end of the year, I was given the R.A. of the Year Award, which was a complete surprise and I was so happy and humbled by the award. I could only thank the whole of the Resident Life team, the young women who I've gotten to pour into and get poured into, as well as my Morgan team, Leeza, Natalie, Shania, Brittany, and Lauren!

Last but certainly not least, what comes with being a students is the classes, test, studying, and great amounts of coffee that was consumed during this academic year. This year was the most challenging as I tried to keep up with reading assignments and making sure I used my time wisely. Like every year, I learned so much and the professors who have fostered my way of thinking and believed in my capabilities played a major role in my success.

As I sit here 3 weeks away from the end of my last summer break, I look forward to my last year of my undergraduate career and making even more memories and growing/ continuing my relationships. This past year was showered with blessings, and I go into my Senior year with open arms and a hopeful and excited presence of the Lord!

Thank you so much for reading! I hope the Lord blesses you and keeps you safe! :D

My Mission Trip to Mexico City

(Left to right: Tina, Kayla, Me, Daisy, Kim, and Andre.)

After almost two weeks of being home my mind continues to wander back to all that I have experienced in Mexico City! Firstly, I want to thank those, who have supported me in this trip whether that be through prayer or donation! If only I could talk to each of you in person (which I would not mind if you're free!), but I will try my best to fully convey just how much God has taken hold of my heart and has express His heart for Mexico City.

When my dad and I drove to the San Francisco Airport on the morning of the flight, I could not believe that after preparing for months for this trip, which consisted of meetings, events, and fundraisers, it was finally time to go to the place that the five of us talked and dreamt so much about. It was so crazy to me that this was actually happening!

After eight hours (give or take) and running to catch our transfer flight in Guadalajara, we landed safely and were all very tired yet excited for what God had in store for us. We were also surprised that the weather wasn't as humid as we expected-- which is a good thing! The first week of the trip consisted of going to the sites that were part of our ministry, such as loving and sharing the light of Christ with abandoned and abused old folks, an orphanage, as well as teaching classes at the community center. Even though many of us got sick during the trip, that didn't stop us from sharing who Christ was!

One of the greatest blessing and continual thread that I couldn't be more thankful for is the team that God has orchestrated to do His work in Mexico. There were moments-- MANY moments-- we would sit in the Lord's presence by journaling, talking with one anther about our thoughts and feelings, as well as impromptu worship nights-- various ways that allowed each of us to spend time with our Father. This team: Daisy, Kim, Kayla, Tina, Ellie, and Andres has been such a light and influence to me that they have helped me see so much of who God is just by the amount of love and desire for Christ they have. So much so that my initial reaction would be lead me to tears.

Below I have attached a playlist of the songs that Daisy, one of my dearest friends and team member played while we journaled, sat in community, cleaned, and/or prayed to. (Feel welcomed to play these songs as you read the rest of the blogpost! :D)

If you do not know already, this was my first ever mission trip, so with everything that I do, keeping an open mind and trying to experience things for how they are is vital for me to be completely present. This trip was also the first time I would be traveling without my parents to another country-- the farthest I've ever been away from them. Even though I am half Mexican, I am not fluent in Spanish; (although, I feel like I could get by because I know more or less a couple of phrases and words) I still would not be able to survive if it weren't for my team. Throughout the trip they were so willing to trans;ate and let me know what was going on whether we were at family dinners, events, or things that we saw while we walked the streets in Mexico!

As the trip progressed, the thought of wishing I could speak Spanish frequently came to mind. There were times I felt defeated thinking that if I spoke Spanish fluently, I could do so much more, but God proved me wrong!

He has shown me that I can do His work just as I am! 

Being fluent in Spanish not did not matter to Him, all he wanted was ME and knowing that Christ wanted me to be a part of His work proves how much He wants a relationship with me-- with ALL of us. He accepts us for ALL that we are. My greatest hope throughout the trip-- throughout my life-- is that God uses me in anyway He sees fit and that I glorify Him in all that I do!

During the second week, I was also given the opportunity to write a blog post for the team, which you can read here. https://simpsonworldserve.wordpress.com/2016/05/19/team-mexico-city-week-2-update/ This opportunity was very exciting and I love writing that I spent a good amount of time on it proof-reading and making sure that I could convey in words what I felt!

During our last week, I started to become aware that some tasks we did during our day would be the last. We also took our last week to write notes to the children at the orphanage and to the old folks at the shelter. While we sat around the table writing and praying over each name that was written on each card, I cried like a baby. My heart turned and cracked for how much I was going to miss all the people I have gotten close to at each ministry site! I cried so much that my eyes were puffy the next morning. It was so hard saying goodbye, knowing that I was going to walk out those doors for the last time never failed to bring tears to my eyes. To think! The amount of love and care I have for these amazing and interesting people, God loves and cares for so much more! A kind of love I can never fathom. As I wrote this blogpost, I wish so much more to tell you about ALL of this in person! God has radically shown me who He is in so ways I never imagined.

As our team debriefed and thought about what we were leaving in Mexico, I'd like to quote one of our team leaders, Andres, about what he felt God was telling him:

"Just because you guys are leaving doesn't mean I'm going to!"

This quote has settled over my heart, knowing that God is going to continue to do His work over Mexico long after we leave! We have all grown deeper in Christ and with each other.  

Now that I am home, my greatest prayer is that this experience and getting to witness the way in which God moves does not lose it's fire in my soul! I continue to thank God for this experience and I never stop thinking about those who have supported me in this! Thank you all so so much! Here are a couple of pictures from the trip or you could click the link to my Facebook to look at even more pictures!

                               

Thank you so much for reading and I pray that God blesses you and shows you glimpses of who He is throughout your life! 

Music From Their Hearts: 5 Seconds of Summer

My youngest sister has done it yet again and has introduced to me another band-- but this is not just "another" band, it's 5 Seconds of Summer a.k.a. 5SOS!!!

If you're not already aware, 5 Seconds of Summer is a pop/rock band from Sydney, Australia! (I KNOW!!!!) The band consists if Michael Clifford (guitar/ vocals), Luke Hemmings (guitar/ vocals), Calum Hood (bass/ vocals), and last but absolutely not least, Ashton Irwin (drums/ vocals). These groups of guys became a band in 2011 posting videos on YouTube. Luke, Micheal, and Calum knew each other from high school and they met Ashton over Facebook and after their first gig, Calum purposed to Ashton to join the band-- true story (link at the end of post). Although, I may have mentioned the instruments that each member of the band plays, they are by far not limited to those instruments; these guys are multi-talented! They each play instruments other than the ones they play in the band and I think that so cool!

Sure, being a One Direction (1D) fan, I feel that I should have known 5SOS a lot sooner because they toured with 1D for two years (2013-14), but in my defense I did not become a fan of 1D until this past summer of 2015. So I sadly didn't get to see 5SOS perform live, but nonetheless, One Direction shouldn't be the main reason of why I should know this band exist. 5 Seconds of Summer have come a long way and have worked really hard. They really try their best to write music that have so much depth that many people can relate to, which I have been guilty of! Since my youngest sister is such a huge fan, she bought their new CD that came out on October 23, 2015, Sounds Good Feels Good, and I can't stop listening to it! I have fallen in love with their music!!

As I think you may have gathered, I have spent the last two weeks of my Christmas break watching YouTube videos of 5 Seconds of Summer and I have not only fallen in love with their music, but for who they are. Their passion for music and how much of an influence it has been in their lives is what they want to do for other people, as well. It is so inspiring that as I've gotten to listen to their music and get to know them (a little) from interviews, 5 Seconds of Summer is band that wants to make a difference in the world and without a doubt have continued to do so, if they know it or not.

I guess what sparked this blog post was a video I saw, which was a segment of 5SOS's live show, The Broken Scene. On October 21, 2015, they performed in Atlanta, Georgia and the drummer, Ashton, was talking to the audience before performing their next song, Jet Black Heart, one of my favorite songs on their new album. Ashton mentioned the music writing process and the kind of music they, as a band, wanted to make. As I was listening to Aston talk, I felt an extension of what they hoped to accomplish. 5 Seconds of summer is not just another band, they are so real and authentic that the music they write is completely and utterly them. Their songs are composed of their own experiences. real emotions, and obstacles that they have gone through, as real music should be. They are more than just a band! More than the teenage girls you hear gawk over them because of how they look or act, which may be true (I also have been guilty of this). 5SOS is a band that wants to mean something and it has always been about the music and fans to them. If I could meet them, I would look them each in the eye and tell them that they have and always will mean something to the people they have made such an impact on.

"I think if we could write music that's from our hearts for you, it doesn't matter if they're worldwide hits that's for sure-- we don't give a damn. As long as they mean something to every single one of you guys, that's all I care about... I want this band to mean something to you, instead of some pointless sh** on the radio. We want to mean something to you!" -Ashton Irwin

Thank you so much for reading!! I love these guys, so I've added the links to which you can check out their music and social media!! Just click on the colored text! I hope your new year has gone off to a great start!

Official Website
Instagram
Twitter
Facebook
YouTube
itunes

Obligatory 2015 Reflection Post

Now it may seem really cliche of me to write a blog post reflecting on 2015, but I can't help it! This year has been so good to me in so many ways! I have grown so much in finding out who I am and really letting God take over my life. As I reflect back on the what I have done, I know I want to work so much more harder. My school and social life seem to dominate how I've spent my year and it has been beautiful: the good and the bad-- especially the good.

A couple of weeks before the new year was approaching, I began reminiscing and reflection about what I did this past year and how I've change as an individual. On first impulse I felt that 2015 was a place holder; a year that only contained time and nothing significant had happened, which is not the case because I started thinking about the people I grew with this year. In the book of Genesis, there is only one time, God says "it is not good" and that is when he sees that Adam is alone, to which He makes Eve. This not only proves that are we meant for relationship with each other, but a relationship with Him. Growth in relationship has been such a significant contribution to how I've been able to live life that I hope and pray that continues to grow.

I fully believe the Lord puts me in certain situations so that I may learn from them, which has allowed me to see various aspects of how to deal with things and I cannot begin to describe the support I had in that. My friends and family continue to be my foundation of who I am and why I'm still sane (well, maybe not completely sane), but I have walked with a handful of very close friends, who have helped me to discern and pray about certain situations that have risen in my life and I am forever thankful.  

Not only have I grown, but I have also accomplished some really cool things, I finished my first semester of my Junior year in college and I am now going in my second semester as a Junior (in the Spring of 2016). The workload this past semester has been crazy and I cannot have done it with the constant support of my friends, to which I was able to do two all-nighters-- the first two of my college career. Before the Fall semester of my Junior year started, I saw my younger sister, who is a Marine, graduate in South Carolina from boot camp! I took summer classes in San Francisco, became a fan of One Direction, and went to see them in concert (to which I've left a link for you to read)!! I find myself in constant disbelief of the amount grace that the Lord has blessed me with. 

I look back at 2015, and I look to 2016 with new hope and a life constantly lived with the presence of God. I take with me all that I've experienced and embrace many more lessons, adventures, memories, difficulties, and friendships!  

I look at 2015 as if I were departing with a homie (nodding to each other with respect). Sure, I could have started a new goal/New Year Resolution for myself and start it the next day before the new year, but I think the New Year means so much more. The New Year allows for new beginnings and a fresh outlook, 2016 calls for so many new things! Just recently, I've become a 5 Seconds to Summer (5SOS) fan-- thanks to my youngest sister, again-- not that it was a bad thing, I really like 5SOS and they're really talented guys! But along with the new interests, I also have set goals for myself-- rather than new year resolutions, I've decided to call then goals-- that I am very keen on sticking with! I look forward to what 2016 brings and I depart from 2015 as equals. 

Happy New Year and here's to new beginnings! 

Thank you for reading!