Hi Guys! I apologize so much for not posting a blog entry in months. I have to admit that I have been spending a lot of my time as a couch potato catching up on many missed episodes of various television series as I am currently on my summer vacation! Now that I feel that I want to invest more time on my blog, I have so many ideas and all the while, want you to get to know more about me while also sharing interests that I've attained. As of interests, I have gotten inspired to share more of the kind of person that I am, so here it goes! :D
Being an introvert, I have come to realize that I am not much of a people person. I don't like people looking at me when I walk into a room or have to do a speech in front of an entire crowd. Then again, I don't think many people would want to do that either, or just wouldn't matter at all the them. I'm not saying that these two specific scenarios automatically make a person an introvert; these are just some of the factors that many introverts might share. When I am faced with these two scenarios, I think that the only way to get to what I need done involves the multiple pairs of eyes shooting in my direction makes me want to retreat back into the comfort of my room. This also apply to meeting new people and worrying about not having much to say, showing too much of my weird personality, or being too timid to even be interesting.
Basically, I don't like attention. I guess this may be from being shy for the majority of my life or just having the lack of confidence or social interaction. "Social Interaction," I think may be the two key words in this blog. Not to say that I grew up in the means of today's" lack of Social Interaction", which may mean gluing my eyes to a bright screen. I mean being awkward 98% of the time, then again this awkwardness may also apply to today's technology- generation. Nonetheless, I had this mental state of shifting my fingers into a cross at the mention of social gatherings. I'm not saying I avoided every invitation to a birthday, wedding, or some sort celebration, I only avoided SOME of them. I'm probably making this more dramatic than it needs to be and it probably sounds like I'm this complete introvert that wants nothing to do with people. I don't blame you, that's just how I've described myself and made myself out to be in this entry. But since I've started college in the Fall of 2013, all of that dramatically changed.
Going to college with hundreds of new people I haven't met before was very intimidating, but I took a deep breath and gave social interaction a try. One of the main contributions for the lack of meeting new people I would say is High School. Four years in the same school meant hanging out with more or less of the people that I hung out with before. And if there were new people in my year or in the school in general, their faces would melt in all the other faces, which sadly happens in many public schools. But having graduated in 2013, I have had a lot of practice since then meeting new people and coming out of my comfort zone and I felt that it was the summer of 2013 that my life started to change.
Besides making such great friendships at Simpson (the school that I am currently attending, which will resume in the Fall), it has inspired me to want to make more friendships and share the new profound love I want to share. I applied to be a Residential Assistant at the college I am currently attending and, for me, this is a very important role because not only does it have a huge responsibility, but I have entirely come out of my comfort zone. Being an RA means interacting with all the girls on my floor and not only limited to my floor, but the whole building and even to all the campus' residences and to be honest, I couldn't be more excited.
I have also realized that I love people. I love seeing the moment when I can look at someone and see their window of thought. What I mean by "window of thought" I mean is that when people are thinking, I can't help to notice a moment when I can see them, when all perception of social interaction is absent. A moment when that person has no realization of anyone looking at them and all guard is down. The person that they are, in a sense they show a part of themselves that is so rarely exposed. It's a single moment when you can catch the part of them when they forget that the world is watching.
In a millisecond, they are their true self and catching a glimpse of that is beautiful. Not to say that when they are realizing that people are looking at them that they aren't beautiful, it's just that seeing the person that they are is something that make them real, a sense of authenticity. Of course every person is real, but each person is different and seeing each individual's personality, each story, failure, accomplishment, experience, and trial that made that person who they are today is what makes everyone human. It's the kind of authenticity that I would like to see in more people I have met and will meet. I see the authenticity with my group of friends, my family, in my neighborhood, and at school.
People are inspiring, sad, happy, tired, excited, complicated, crazy, awesome, intelligent, and compassionate that I can't help describe this by mentioning "Doctor Who." For those of you who have watched "Doctor Who", you'd most likely understand what I'm talking about, but if you haven't, then I'll try my best to describe what I mean. Doctor Who is amazed with human beings. To be more specific, in the second series, episode 8: The impossible Planet of "Doctor Who," the Doctor is captivated of humanity and how complicated, intelligent, ignorant, and beautiful creatures humans are.
I love the idea that every person has different qualities because each person has God in them that because God is so big he couldn't fit all his characteristics into one person. Someone you know might be sassy, quiet, talkative, or smart, all these qualities God possess. It is because everyone is a different person, people are the most complex creatures. I see this authenticity with people that surround me and people that I am so blessed to call friends and family, that they have inspired me and have led me to become the person that I am today.
So I encourage you, if you seem to keep to yourself or are scared to meet new people. I believe that by putting yourself out there and exercising Social Interaction would be an obstacle worth experiencing!
Thank you so much for reading!
-Jacky