Exerpt 0.1

Sitting at my desk, a lady approached me. Her short white hair waving through the wind from her walk. She came up to me, extending a broad smile, asking where she might find the earliest  open physician. Realizing that she has been the first person I've to talk to since I started my 12 hour shift, I introduced myself. 

I watched her face, her eyes catching a glimmer of sudden intrigue and her eyebrows in high arches.

"Who has the other half?" she said referring to my necklace as she tried to hide a smirk. I remember a gold chain with a matching charm, dented at the bottom point of the heart hanging around my neck. 

Her eyes shining and her expecting smile waiting for a name that might carry significance, a name that encapsulated long-desired lover and best friend. Someone I would have been dating for months or years. A person that I would say the name of in the expectation that I could share memories of an awkward first kiss and an incredible first date. A man that I could share a picture of with his arm around my waist and my head tilted looking up at his face. Gitty, at the thought of who might be the man that must have given me this necklace. A man that I have been waiting for. A man, who believed I was worth the risk and chose me-- and continues to choose me every. Single. Day.

"My sister" I said looking down, sparing myself the disappointment that must have projected onto her face. I look back up at her, greeted by a reaction that expressed how sweet it must be knowing that two sisters are currently wearing matching half-heart necklaces. She responses with a sweet smile, kind and reassuring. 

"Oh, how cute" she said softly, "Thank you so much for your help. I hope you have a fantastic day!"

"Thank you, " I said going back to writing the fictional short stories I distract my mind with.

My First Summer In Redding

Some of my homies here in Redding. #Summer

I find myself sitting at a coffee shop, which is the next big thing to do while in Redding (LOL), but after two full months living in a city (a.k.a. village), which is about three hours away from anything, I can't help but enjoy this time that I have away from the familiar. 

Don't get me wrong I miss the brisk mornings, the fast-pace community, and the unending diversity that a cluster of cities like the Bay Area offers. I miss my family, eating homemade food, and waking up to smells that remind me of comfort and home. 

If you haven't picked up on the title of this blogpost, this is my first summer away from home (Da Bay). I got a job working on campus cleaning the buildings and resident halls of Simpson University along with nine other students and this whole experience has been a constant learning process. A learning process, not only in the job itself, but practically living on my own without the constant worry of deadlines, classes, and exams, which has been a main attachment that I have with Redding.

These past two months have consisted of getting acquainted with the whether, not knowing what to do in a city that doesn't get cool until 9:00PM-- even then it's still 98 degrees outside and I'm in bed by 9:30PM (because I have to be up by 6:00AM the following morning)-- and trying to stay on a budget. Sure, this may not seem like qualifications in which should be difficult to get adjusted to, but they are conditions in which I'm not familiar with. 

If you are at all aware with the geographic location of Redding, California, then you know how insanely hot it gets over the summer and for those that actually live here in Redding: you have my utmost respect and gratitude because I do not know how you guys do it. Redding has reached a high of 112 Degrees Fahrenheit and let me tell you, that I have not sweated as much as I have just standing outside. Even though, my job here at Simpson allows us to stay indoors for majority of the time, which I am so thankful for, but there are moments when we have clean outside of the building (mostly windows) and I feel like I'm in a sauna. *Slowly dies inside* There are other students here doing other things around campus, such as the Grounds Crew, and they have it hard. Their whole job is working outside in the heat mowing, cutting, pruning-- just about everything and I pray for their souls. Needless to say, they are the real MVP's!

As for doing things in Redding, the church community here is absolutely phenomenal. I attend Bethel church and I am in love with everything the church has to offer: the worship, messages, and people that I get to meet. But since the beginning of my summer break, God has put on my heart a deep desire for a sense of community. Not only with the community that I have with my co-workers and other friends that are staying in the Redding area, but wanting to be a part of a church body. Because Bethel is such a big church, it's hard finding that source of utilizing where God wants to use me in such big place. Before Bethel, I've attended other churches in the area, such as The Stirring Church and Haven, which is a young adult service at Little Country Church. So my first step was to get reconnected and see if God has anything for me there. 

So, I began attending The Stirring in the mornings and Haven at night, encouraged and excited to experience what God wants for me, which also has been a learning process. Because of this, I'm not going to stop attending Bethel church completely (they have a Friday night service that I plan on attending as well (LOL)).

While living on my own, I really want to take care of myself, which constituted watching what I ate and exercising often. For the past month, I've been going to the gym right after work and cooking more instead of eating out. Out of the two, I never know cooking would be SO HARD!!

Now with two months into figuring out Redding (more or less), I know God's not done with with me in this place. With one more semester to finish in my undergrad career, God's never going to take me out of school. Overall, I miss home deeply, but I think God is teaching me to find home wherever I am because He is home.

Watching "The Flash"

I believe that there are about four other blogs (give or take) that have been inspired by things in which my little sister has introduced to me, things such as music, books, and movies and this blog is no exception.

During my winter break, I had planned to read countless (Okay, maybe more specifically three) books, run rampant in the streets of the City (more like get lost and find myself in unplanned adventures that awaited me), and watch all the movies I missed out on. Sure there's still a little less than a week until I have to go back to school and I may not have done a sprinkle of what I had hoped to do during my winter break, but the best things happen unplanned. One of those best things being that I watched 2 seasons of The Flash on Netflix, which I have become a fan of!! Although this entire post may be about watching The Flash, my winter break has not been limited to this activity exclusively.

My little sister, Cristina had a t.v. show playing in the living room during the first week of our winter break and I didn't pay much attention to it until she started explaining the plot line to me. When I decided that I wanted to watch the show for myself, she insisted that she watch the entire show with me from the beginning. So, we embarked on a journey together in which consisted of heavy scientific concepts, clever fan references, and standing-by-the-end-of-each-episode. Now, I sit here on the couch in my living room a couple of hours after finishing Season 2 of  The Flash and trying to process all that has happened.

I really hope you consider on watching the show for yourself because this show is truly amazing! Each character is brought to life creating a distinctive personality. The nerd references (No offense, I am a proud nerd) are on point! But, of course, if you ever do watch The Flash, go in with VERY low expectations because I wouldn't want to contribute to you going in with very high expectations and not really enjoying it (which will NOT happen regardless). So, if you do start watching it, I may have started talking about some of the key components that happen in the show later on in this blogpost. So, I sectioned off the part in which is **spoiler-filled** and you can skip down to where it's safe to continue reading. But if you are past Season 2-- by all means, continue reading.

**SPOILER ALERT**

I would like to think that I was able to follow along with the majority of the scientific theories that were proposed/ happened on the show--my foundation being that I am a big Back to the Future fan and I've practically studied the films in which I believe that I have a good idea of how time works. And because of that, I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS!! For example, when the reverse flash disappears from existence because Officer Eddie killed himself, shouldn't everything have gone back to normal, as if Barry's mother hadn't died? I guess that issue is address later in the season when the Reverse Flash comes back, but has no idea of what has already happened and, if I remember correctly, Eddie's action of killing himself hasn't taken action because the Reverse Flash is on a separate timeline. PLEASE, correct me if I'm wrong and if you can, explain this to me! BUT!!! The season finale for season 2--- That ALL does not matter anymore! I have yet to watch season 3 and it's killing me! There was a whole bunch of other questions that I had throughout the show, but I can't remember them, which I might just rewatch the entire first and second season-- to make sure that I didn't miss anything!

But, nonetheless, I am very excited on how the season 3 will begin! And for those who have waited week after week for the next episode to air on tv, I salute you.

**END OF SPOILER**

If you're in the mood to watch a superhero show with science fiction, love and hate relationships with the characters, surprises, controversy, and intrigue, then The Flash is for you! But, highkey, you should decide for yourself and if you do decide to watch it, I promise you won't be disappointed.

Senior Year-- An Update

For those of you who know me and would like some light on what I've been doing lately, thank you, and if you're new and happened to stumble upon this post, thank you to you, too! So above all, thank YOU for reading this!

If you do not know already, I'm currently in my Senior year and on winter break! And I have been thinking about some of the struggles I faced during the semester, which have been crazy! Finals were insane and I only had to do two all-nighters this semester, which may or may not have lowered my validation as a college student, but you be the judge of that. With all the papers, midterms, and other extra curricular activities in which I tried to keep up with, I remember the week of finals and having to write a five page paper, a presentation, and three reading assignments/ worksheets, that were all due within three days. That may not sound like a lot-- even as an English major-- but I started to feel its weight. The texts that we were required to read are heavy in content and take a lot of time to do. I don't mean to come off as whiny, but the stress was REAL. For a visual illustration, this is how my semester felt on most days:

  

Instead of specifically "Sundays," the above illustration has been me throughout the majority of the semester-- unfortunately. Now, college was not going to be easy and as I continue to think about some of the things that I could have done differently this past semester, I know it will be different for the upcoming Spring semester. I hope all-nighters are the thing of the past and I will at the same time, get to watch The Flash, while I'm still at school. (Lowkey, I'm on Season 2, episode 2 on Netflix, for The Flash, and it's getting crazy good, but I do have SO MANY QUESTIONS, which I am very confused about. I like to think that I have-- SPOILER ALERT-- time travel and the idea of it down, which is why all of these questions are coming to mind. But my little sister, who was the one that got me hooked onto the show, says that I should keep watching and that all of my questions will be answered. *Cries from the frustration* BUT I am loving the show! #HighlyRecommend)

Anyway, I look forward to this new semester and new year! (AND watching more of The Flash.)

Using This Chance to Write

I think one of the main reasons that I haven't posted a while on this blog is because of that reason; I haven't posted on my own blog for a long time. No matter how much I wanted to post on this blog, I felt like it was something that I had to do, but that's what I really want to stay away from. I've expressed before that writing is something that I love doing, so much so that I majored in it. I figured that part of the reason that kept me from posting anything was that I didn't want to face the idea that I hadn't posted in a while, which resulted in more or less some sense of procrastination. But I couldn't stop thinking about writing. So, here I am on my Winter Break, just writing and thank you, reader, for reading this as I allow myself to splurge on something that I have no idea what will become of it. How exciting!

In the time that I've been going to college and writing countless papers, one of the best ways to start a paper is to start writing. I think that's a technique in which I'm doing now. I realize that the last time I've posted anything was a month and a half ago and I want to change that. I want to try posting more often, more than I did within this past year. There might be posts like this where I have no idea what I'll be writing about, but it would most likely be of things that have sparked my interest or what I may be doing at the moment. And at this moment, I'm on Winter Break, which means that I have a lot of time on my hands, which is almost overwhelming. Within only a week ago, I've been so busy with finals, projects, and papers that the amount of free time I have on my hands, now, makes my mind race on all the things I can and want to do. 

Have you ever had to do so many things that time seems to be fighting against you and don't know where to start, so you take a nap, instead? (I may or may not have done that (LOL!)) Well, that's my current dilemma, but instead of naps, I've been trying to regulate my sleep schedule to "normal." Being at school, I wouldn't get to sleep until 1:00AM--if I'm lucky! Nonetheless, with the amount of free time I want to go binge watch on t.v. shows on Netflix, spend hours getting lost in a city, immerse myself in culture (I have a lot of catching up to do), go to the movies, hangout with my hometown friends, and go for a run on my favorite route (the list doesn't stop there!). I currently think that I have been able to perform these tasks with my family!

One in particular has been a t.v. show on the CW called, The Flash, which I have started on Netflix and IT'S SO GOOD!! As of many of the things that I begin to fangirl about, my little sister, Cristina introduced me to the show and I've been trying to catch up with her and--OMG!!--where have I been all this time! The show is incredible, the cast is remarkable, and the writing is legit! Of course, if I've persuaded you enough to watch it yourself, forget everything I said about it just so that you don't go in with high expectations! 

I've also have gone to so many places in the Bay Area that if I had to go back to school tomorrow, I'd feel content on m fair share of city life... Okay, maybe I haven't met my full quota, but it has been a lot so far. Besides getting to spend a lot of time with my family, I'm using part of my free time reflecting on the past semester and year. All that comes to mind is: it has been tough. Despite the difficulty that has come with this year, which has been mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually challenging, I didn't go through it alone. I have an amazing support group that has cried with me, laughed with me, and struggled with me, yet has remained to be a community of encouragement. So, I look forward to the new year and semester as an opportunity to do things differently and create more often, even if it means writing a blogpost with no idea of how it's going to end. 

Thank you for reading!

-Jacky

I Miss Writing and Reading

As some of you may know, I am currently in my fourth year of university and socially, it's been amazing! My main friend group is legit and encouraging, not only have we been able to continue to experience this journey together, but we've  also been able to make new friends, who are just so funny and interesting. It's so cool to experience the many personalities that God has created, which has been such a blessing!

Spiritually, within these past couple of weeks, I feel that God continues to wreck me, teaching me something new and profound. Many of my weekends/weeks consist of worship, listening/attending sermons, and dwelling in an atmosphere of community and fellowship, which is SO GOOD!!! I am absolutely loving it! 

Academically, not so much. I'm not saying that I haven't prayed about my work or the things I'm learning in the classroom; I'm saying I'm just not enjoying the work.

Granted, I love to learn and the material is interesting and challenging, but I can't find myself to completely dedicate my mind to it fully. I find myself distracted or unmotivated-- unwilling to take the time to sit and read or write about the ideas/concepts discussed in the written work. 

Now from the title of this blog post, you may have gotten the idea of what this is about and I am not blaming the amount of homework, material, and/or professors-- I'm actually very thankful of it all because it is what is expected of me as an English Major. The work and material that I am given is what equips me to gain the knowledge and understanding of the degree I will be receiving this upcoming Spring. But this year, out of all years, something feels different.

I keep pushing my school work to the last minute trying to finish assignment late into the night. I spend hours trying to read a literary work, which is just about 5-10 pages long (and that's small for English majors) and my writing-- OMG-- don't get me started about the paper writing. I feel like such a FAILURE in writing papers this semester!! But in the midst of all of the work and deadlines, I sometimes forget why I decided to do it in the first place.

So, I think back to where it all began. I think about the moments when I could write and read when I wanted to because I WANTED to-- which was A LOT! The reason WHY I wanted to be an English major. But now, I guess, because I HAVE to read and write there's an expectation of requirements. Sure, this may sound like I'm whining and you may be thinking that if I don't want to read or write, why am I currently writing this blog post... My answer to you is: "because I want to." I hope that doesn't come off as offensive, but I miss having my own requirements. 

The opportunity to do something so minuscule, such as writing and reading that brings me so much joy to which I've realized, I haven't been able to do. Writing and reading has currently been associated with the feeling of anxiety and fear because I always think that it's going to be paired with a due date or a certain way in which it's supposed to be written, such as worrying about other aspects of how I'm supposed to write a paper: syntax, structure, argument, and content. Having to read and write constantly for my whole academic career has numbed me. I have forgotten that writing, for me, is a place where I can find freedom in doing whatever I want-- maybe not to the extent of which usage of "there/their/they're" I'm supposed to use (and there is supposed to be a specific one depending on its usage), but the kind of freedom that reminds me of why I started to read and write in the first place.

Freedom in writing is creating a story and not knowing where in the world its going to go. Writing is part of the creative process that has so much color, chaos, and enriching amounts of imagination. It is the kind of joy that the Lord allows us to run freely in without judgement and fear. It's a kind of freedom that I dearly miss. Although I may not achieve anything from writing this, I found myself sitting at my desk with a strong desire to... write. 

So, for the sake of my sanity, I hope you enjoyed reading just a glimpse of what I'm going through at the moment and, please, pray for me!

My Junior Year at Simpson University

This post is past overdue as my Senior year of university will be commencing in less than 3 weeks!! So here is a perspective on what I wrote a couple of days after finishing my Junior year of college!

Can you believe it?! I'm finished with my third year at Simpson University! As I reflect and think about this past year, I am so thankful for all that I experienced. God has truly been moving in my life that His love, grace, mercy, and strength were ever present. As I continued with courses, my position as a Resident Assistant, and growing spiritually with God; the people He has blessed me with continue to overwhelm me. Throughout this year, there was a single word that I felt God has worked in my life and that word was friendship and what that meant in my life.

One thing that I integrate in my interaction with people is: "Treat other as you want to be treated." Ever since I could remember, I constantly put myself in other peoples shoes; I would try to imagine and feel every interaction I had with people. If I said one thing or did something, I would ask myself how would they feel? What if I said this? What if I did that? Friendship to me was treating other as you want to be treated that extension of oneself is connected to another. Sure, we could mess up sometimes-- we're not perfect--, but it's what we do after that talk, interaction, or mistake that was made is what that friendship adds up to. 

This past school year, that is what I experienced: a revaluation of who were my friends and who were not. Coming from the Bay Area, I take my friends seriously, seriously as in who I tell things to or who I want to spend my time with. If someone were to do something to any of my close friends, I would feel as if they were doing that same wrong to me. For a visual representation, imagine the scene from Miss Congeniality, and Sandra Bullock's character, Hart, who had to answer a Miss United States question to which she had a brief shining moment. I've attached the video of that moment for you.

Bullock's character is me. You mess with my friends, you mess with me to which my "bay area" comes out and I don;t meant to specifically originate this feeling to the Bay Area, but I believe it should be universal. With this definition of friendship, I have been able to think about what it really means to be a friend. With friendship, I have grown with people who have enriched my life and who I have learned from greatly.

This lesson in my life is a great blessing in disguise because God has given me the great opportunity to become close to others who have been effected or experienced this type of obstacle in their life.

Not only has my Junior year been enriched by friendship, but I have also been loving my role as a Resident Assistant. Being an R.A. continues to be a blessing as I continued to grow as a student leader and with the relationships I have with my floor and ultimately with other women that live in my building. By the end of the year, I was given the R.A. of the Year Award, which was a complete surprise and I was so happy and humbled by the award. I could only thank the whole of the Resident Life team, the young women who I've gotten to pour into and get poured into, as well as my Morgan team, Leeza, Natalie, Shania, Brittany, and Lauren!

Last but certainly not least, what comes with being a students is the classes, test, studying, and great amounts of coffee that was consumed during this academic year. This year was the most challenging as I tried to keep up with reading assignments and making sure I used my time wisely. Like every year, I learned so much and the professors who have fostered my way of thinking and believed in my capabilities played a major role in my success.

As I sit here 3 weeks away from the end of my last summer break, I look forward to my last year of my undergraduate career and making even more memories and growing/ continuing my relationships. This past year was showered with blessings, and I go into my Senior year with open arms and a hopeful and excited presence of the Lord!

Thank you so much for reading! I hope the Lord blesses you and keeps you safe! :D